In life we invariably come across situations where we may be criticised by others. It happens, sometimes people do it subconsciously, other times more blatant. For some reason older people are naturals, there is an unfathomable air about them that believes what they say can be said regardless of how damaging it can be to the audience.
Others get a kick out of critiquing everything with a belief they either know, or can do better. ‘Asshole’ is the generic term for these kind of people.
Constructive criticism is a phrase I absolutely detest. There is nothing constructive about telling someone they are bad at something. You instantly set the bar higher than their hopes, and kick them down lower than they need be. Don’t do it. Constructive criticism is nothing more than an oxymoron. Why not turn that concept on its head, and if you see someone that you can help, rather than critique them you should encourage them instead. It’s the basics of coaching. Simple?
Coaching will always get so much more out of someone than putting them down. Encourage them, use positive language and gestures. “What if we try it like this”, or “do you think this may work better” will do so much more and be less damaging than “that’s a stupid way” or “why are you doing it wrong”.
When someone offers me coaching I welcome it, I thrive on it. I have always had a desire to learn as much as I can from everything and everyone. Be safe in the knowledge that no matter how much you know, or how much you think you know, you can learn from every single thing you do.
Never accept criticism from anyone whom you wouldn’t seek advise from. My favourite way to deal with this is to quietly think “For me to be offended, first I would have to value your opinion”.
The bad news is you cannot make people like, love, understand or even accept you - The good news is it doesn’t matter!
Happy Damn Friday Peeps! x
I'd love to hear from you - you can reach me on:
@happydamnfriday on Twitter
happydamnfriday@outlook.com
happydamnfriday@yahoo.com
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