This week I have struggled a bit with stuff. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster year and this week has been one of the times when it feels like you’re at the bottom of the loop on a roller coaster. The trigger was a visit to my mother in the nursing home she now lives in. She suffers from dementia and it is gradually taking more and more of a hold on her. It’s incredibly tough to witness, especially when she has no recollection of recent events such as the passing of my father earlier this year.
It’s tough because the fiercely strong woman that raised us, is now effectively just a shell. Conversations are on a loop, and even with the repetition of repeating the same things over and over, the comprehension is gone with the confused stare of not knowing.
Don’t get me wrong, having the opportunity to visit is great, and something that I don’t get to do nearly as often as I’d like to. But it is heartbreaking nonetheless. I know it’s going to pass, and I know it’s going to be ok, or as ok as things can be.
I’ve found that as I get older I tend to withdraw into myself when I contemplate what’s happening in life. I guess it’s a way of taking the time to think about, and process what is on my mind. I think it’s important to do it, because it can be hard to talk about thoughts, feelings and emotions. So taking time to think is a way to deal with it.
I was also presented with a small bag of stuff belonging to my late dad. Well, when I say a small bag of stuff, in reality it’s a bag full of rubbish. But rubbish he had kept in his bedside locker. A small collection of broken cheap watches, a pipe, a wallet and some other bits and pieces. Alas the wallet was empty, save for a 9p stamp, that has remained unused since it’s issue in 1978, safely tucked away to be used at some point.
There is no value in what I received other than the value of it having been kept for so long, effectively making it invaluable. Well, to me anyway.
So this week I would urge you to think about the treasures you have tucked away. Maybe even unknowingly. But take it as an opportunity to have a rummage. Even more so if you’re having a tough time at the moment. Use them to rejuvenate your soul with happy thoughts and happy memories. We all have them, sometimes we just need to find them among the clutter in our minds.
Remember, sometimes it’s ok to be withdrawn. You never know what treasures you might stumble across…
Happy Damn Friday! x
Simple messages to inspire, and generate happiness
I'd love to hear from you - you can reach me on:
@happydamnfriday on Twitter
happydamnfriday@outlook.com
Comments
Post a Comment